Now in the days of my decreased appetite, I feel that listening to music doesn’t ensure enough relief - I crave to create it. I want to scream and moan into a microphone. I want slap my hands on an instrument. I want distorted sound and thunderous applause encouraging my insanity. I want an audience who will synchronize their passion and pain with my own.

I’m uncomfortable and I want everyone to know, see, and hear it.

Maybe this is a phase and I’ve just been listening to too much PJ Harvey.
But I remember what it feels like to be in band - and I miss it.